Yay, they finally let me, your “assistant editor” (eff that, makes me sound like a secretary, why can’t I be Co-Editor or Official Pretty Princess? LOOK INTO IT, MATT) make a post! I asked what I should write about. I was told to write about “something womanly, to attract female readers.” But girl stuff is dumb, so, I’m just gonna take whatever lame Canadian politics story is in the news and run with it. Here goes!
Let’s pick a random Post headline… PM hoping to show off his Indian savvy for voters, that sounds awkward, let’s go with that!
So our boy Stevie’s going to India, to… well, if you’re to believe this article, the breakdown of reasons is something like:
- ~ 90%: Get picture taken with a bunch of Indian pop stars. This, according to the Post at least, will make Harper a superstar among Indian-Canadians. He’ll get a chance to chill with “India’s answer to Brad Pitt” (pop quiz: who’s Canada’s answer to Brad Pitt? According to a Google search for “Canadian Brad Pitt”, it may or may not be some actor I’ve never heard of called Callum Keith Rennie. OHMYGOD Harper’s meeting India’s answer to CALLUM KEITH RENNIE!)
- ~ 7%: Tanning / butter chicken.
- ~ 2%: Is a big Slumdog Millionaire fan
- ~ 1%: Meaningful talks with Indian Prime Minister.
Alright Natty’ Po’, give us some good quotes:
Ms. Grewal, in fact, is joining Harper in India for this tour along with Conservatives Tim Uppal, a Sikh MP from Edmonton; Devinder Shory, a Hindu MP from Calgary, and Patrick Brown, an MP from Barrie, Ont., who is neither Sikh nor Hindu but who is chair of the Canada-India Parliamentary Friendship Group.
Thanks for clarifying, I was having a hard time deciding whether the name “Peter Brown” was more of a traditional north Indian or south Indian name.
P.S., for the remaining 6 out of 8 Indian-Canadian MPs, you just got SNUBBED! Can you imagine Harper making those picks? “Alright, I’m gonna need to bring all my Indian friends to India for a big Indian trip… alright, Uppal, you’re in, Shory, you’re totally in… aaaaand… one more spot… yeah, gonna go with Peter Brown. Yeah, Pete, you like Indians right? Sure, let’s say you’re part of some Special Parliamentary Indian Superfriends Club. Sorry, Ruby Dhalla, gonna go with Petey this time around.”
Alright, let’s leave this with an actual quote from Stevey Harper:
“But we don’t, in Canada, question people’s political views.”
That quote courtesy of Prime Minister Stephen Harper, whose job as Prime Minister is to question political views.
Anyways, I predict these meetings will dissolve almost immediately when, during a heated argument between Harper and Indian Prime Minister Singh, suddenly they’ll break into a massive, highly choreographed song and dance routine.
[NattyPo Article]
[This is where I went to find out there's exactly 8 Indian-Canadian MPs, yeah BIG DEAL I GOOGLED IT, IT'S MY FIRST POST]
-Jenn
Contact us! mail[at]maplerag.com
November 16th, 2009 - 6:34 pm
Hilarious photoshop by me, as always, THANKS FOR THE CREDIT JENN. Now you’ll never make Pretty Princess.
November 16th, 2009 - 6:37 pm
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