Twins??
This is why this blog was started. For moments like this. For Dean Del Mastro.
Summary, if you’ve been oblivious to hilarious current events: Conservative MP for Peterborough and known lardbutt, Dean Del Mastro, was being a dick to some Liberals in a committee where he insisted that the Sponsorship Scandal (hey, remember that? Retro!) be called a “crime”, even though it wasn’t a crime. Anyways, Liberal MP and virtual nobody Michelle Simson, living a hood life on the mean streets of Scarborough, retreated to Twitter and made a hilarious joke about Dean Del Mastro being fat.
HILARIOUS! Get it? Because he’s childish, and fat. See how that works? COMEDY! Read on for the video followup!
Look, stop what you’re doing right now and just watch the Youtube:
Let’s break down the comedy. First of all, there’s the woeful, pathetic expression of Del Fatstro, reading out the tweet like it was a telegram informing someone of their mother’s death. Then, there’s the fact that he tries to call fat jokes “discrimination”, then he tries to twist the whole idea of fat jokes as a purely Liberal invention. Damn you Liberals, why did you invent the very concept of body self-image! Anyways, after his wounded-dog shtick, he whimpers:
Del Fatstro: I hear some people in the House laughing and that is unfortunate.
To be fair, they’re not laughing at your fatness, they’re laughing at the fact that you’d stand up to whine about Twitter insults regarding fatness. Okay, some of them are laughing at your fatness.
Del Fatstro: She may wish to consider that a number of her own constituents are less than perfect and she represents them as well.
Her constituents are from Scarborough. Have you seen Scarborough girls? It’s not like there’s a perfection epidemic going on.
Liberal MP Rodger Cuzner: On the same point of order, Mr. Speaker, for the benefit of the member, the lion’s share of the quips and giggles were coming from his side of the House.
Right, so then instead of letting Simson talk, Cuzner butts in to say this ridiculously stupid “nuh uh”, “you were”, “was not times infinite” comeback. Shutup, Rodger Cuzner. Next?
Simson, hater of fatties: To say one should grow up and not out was out of line and I do apologize. Growing up and growing out is not something I should have said to the hon. member.
MY HORRIBLE JOKE WAS SO INAPPROPRIATE THAT I REPEATED IT, TWICE, IN DRAWN-OUT FASHION.
Charlie Angus, some NDP chump who stands up to interject for no reason: However, I think it speaks to a bigger issue.
“Bigger like The Honourable Member for Peterborough’s ASS, am I right folks?” Yeah, basically this NDP guy stood up only to make this fat joke, then he tries to pretend it wasn’t a fat joke when a bunch of Tories start howling at him like the studio audience of the old Match Game after they’d just decoded a piece of Charles Nelson Reilly innuendo. My favourite part, this is how it’s recorded in the transcript:
Some honourable members: Oh, oh!
The hell’s that mean, a simultaneous MP orgasm? Ahhh, I love Canadian politics.
Miscellaneous line from the Globe article: “His staff uses Google to alert them to any mention of their boss.”
Oh, crap. Uh… heya there…. staffers? Maybe stumbled across this article, huh? Sorry about all the, uh… where we, with the name-calling, and the…
… FAT!
[Source: The Globe]
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February 6th, 2012 - 1:18 am
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February 6th, 2012 - 1:30 am
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February 7th, 2012 - 12:45 am
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February 7th, 2012 - 6:49 am
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February 7th, 2012 - 7:28 am
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February 7th, 2012 - 12:41 pm
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February 8th, 2012 - 6:50 am
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