Who’s the hottest MP in Parliament?

It’s likely the oldest and most singularly important question in the history of representative democracy. Hotness is an essential yardstick with which we, the voting public, can gauge the worthiness of our elected officials. And, just like other subjective measures of value for an elected official (intelligence, enthusiasm, creativity, dickishness, etc.) it’s very hard to judge something as subjective and personal as hotness.

Some people will tell you that Ruby Dhalla is the hottest woman in Parliament. Others are more Belinda Stronach types. Conservatives pretend to like Rona Ambrose. But not us.

[Editorial note: by "us", he means "him", I have absolutely no involvement with this post and think this chick looks like a homely Greek librarian -Jenn]

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Niki Ashton, MP for Churchill, Manitoba. She was elected in 2008, ousting her Liberal opponent after she gained the support of local unions and local polar bears, who have voting rights in Churchill.

Why she’s hot: The glasses. They’re so cute! It’s Tina Fey-esque. She seems hip. Belinda Stronach wouldn’t know where the cool indie bands are playing. Rona Ambrose wouldn’t pound jagerbombs with you at a hipster dive bar. Niki Ashton is the nerdy chick who liked you in high school. Niki Ashton will text you at 1 AM asking if you want to come over and watch her DVD collection of foreign films. Niki Ashton will knit you a scarf.

We’re even willing to overlook the fact that she’s an orange, Nee-dipper Commie.

Niki Ashton is, from this point forward, the official crush of Maple Rag, and we will periodically reference how much we love her until she agrees to go to prom with us.