The Liberal Party, in a long and painful struggle to seem hip and cool, has launched a Photoshop challenge! I imagine the conversation went something like this:

Staffer 1: Alright, we need something fun, something fresh, something to get people involved! Web 2.0! Social networking! New media! Rap music! Buzzword! Buzzword!

Staffer 2: What’s that thing Rick Mercer does on his show, where he makes people whip up funny Photoshopped pictures of politicians? Wanna just rip that off?

Staffer 1: Don’t you think it’s kind of inappropriate for a national political party to be ripping off a prime time comedy show? Could you imagine how tacky it would seem if  the Democratic Party in the US took their policy ideas from Letterman sketches? Also, doesn’t a “Photoshop the Prime Minister doing funny things” contest seem incredibly petty? You realize people are just going to paste his face onto a transexual hooker, wouldn’t that reflect poorly on any kind of serious political point we would be trying to make? Also, what if every Liberal who participates sucks at Photoshop?

Staffer 2: Sorry, I didn’t hear you, I was busy making up the contest site. Ooh, entries are pouring in!

Let’s see what they came up with! The theme of the contest was loosely “Photoshop places that Harper would rather be than Copenhagen”, but it quickly devolved into “Crudely cut-and-paste Harper’s face in Microsoft Paint onto any old wacky picture you can find.” The third prize was literally a few lumps of coal, so at least you can’t accuse the Liberals of wasting too much money on all of this.

Entry #1: Serena, Ottawa

What in the name of Cowboy Jesus is this? For one, the graphic designer in me is pained – pained! – by the cut-and-paste job. They just took the circle tool, cut a perfect circle out of the middle of Harper’s face, then plopped it onto Lady Gaga for some damn reason, ignoring the microphone and hair that should be in the foreground. The caption makes so little sense I’m not even touching it, unless there’s some hilarious joke I’m just not getting. Yes, this image of the Prime Minister’s face on an image of pansexual freakshow Lady Gaga is featured on the official website of Canada’s oldest and most revered political institution. God help us. Grade: D, for Harper’s lack of a puh-puh-puh-poker face.

Entry #2: Richard, Ottawa

HAHA, GET IT, IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE… uh… gay sex? “Making jokes about the Prime Minister having gay sex with Heath Ledger” is a totally legitimate, serious political point to be making. It’s in the Red Book. At least the Photoshop work’s better, but come on people, HUE, BALANCE, BLUR! Grade: B- because I wish I could quit this.

Entry #3: Richard & Emily, Guelph

HAHA, GET IT? Remember when that black guy did that stuff at those awards, a few months ago, and then everyone started making all those jokes about it? Hah! It’s topical! Any other cutting-edge jokes you want to strike while the iron’s hot? Maybe some topical Susan Boyle jokes? Maybe a wacky joke about Sanjaya? Hey, maybe you should’ve put Harper’s face on Octomom, and then make his kids Balloon Boy and Bernie Madoff! Shit, I’d better keep some of these gold ideas to myself, I could be the lucky winner of that lump of coal! Grade: C, yo I’ma let you finish, but 3 months ago was the best time for this joke of all time, of all time.

Entry #4: Craig, too embarrassed to give his location or other identifying details

OH FOR SHIT’S SAKE ARE YOU PEOPLE EVEN TRYING TO WIN THAT LUMP OF COAL? Grade: F, although I do appreciate Peter MacKay’s jugs.

Conclusion: Liberal volunteers should never be allowed near graphic design software.

[Source: Official Liberal site, I'm serious, their real site, they actually ran this contest, this is real]