There is no possible way you’re reading whatever this sentence says. If you saw the above image, you are currently at the Maple Rag store and buying ten of these shirts. (The version on your shirt won’t even have a big red watermark!) They’re pretty cheap, too! GO, BUY, CONSUME

Back in the pre-Youtube days – a phrase that sounds so quaint and old-fashioned you’d might as well be starting a sentence with “so I got my Van Halen 8-track stuck in my Geo Metro” – funny videos were hard to come by on the web. You’d have to use Yahoo, or Lycos, or Altavista [...]

Happy Victoria Day, drunken Canadians! Victoria Day is a famous holiday invented a million years ago in Olde Englande – possibly the Victorian age, I’ll Wikipedia it later – to celebrate Queen Victoria, a frumpy fat lady (note: fat for the time period, by modern standards she’d wear a size Medium at Wal-Mart) who was [...]

What does the world hate about Canada?
Not to brag – but there aren’t many things to hate about Canada. When it comes down to truly loathable things that Canada has done to the world, it’s a fairly thin list. Near the top of that list, though, we can definitely name a couple of names – [...]

Remember that Saved By The Bell episode where Zack falls in love with a handicapped chick, and then he does all this awkward grandstanding about how she’s different from everyone else, when really all she wanted was to be accepted – and everyone learns a valuable lesson? Of course you do, but just humour me [...]

Happy Cinco De Mayo (Spanish for “a fifth of Mayonnaise”), a Mexican holiday celebrating the, uh… some sort of revolution, or war, or… historical thing… hey look, Coronas are half price at the bar today! Here’s what’s going on in the country of Canada, which joins Mexico as America’s other bookend:

> Did you hear about [...]

I looked at the Toronto Star sitting at my doorstop this morning – no, no, I don’t subscribe, they just sort of give it to you sometimes, just to make the people who actually paid money to subscribe feel like tools – and there was quite the interesting headline! In bold, 72-point font usually reserved [...]

It’s Round 2 of Mayoral Kombat, where we take a look at the also-rans!
(I’m slowly alienating all of my readers – HI MOM! – too old to know what the fuck a “Mortal Kombat” is.)
Ready? FIGHT!
ROCCO ROSSI
Support based on most recent TorStar poll: 13%
Coles Notes summary: Big-time Liberal insider, and a member of Iggy’s Rosedale [...]