What’s the hottest, safest political position for Ottawa politicians to take these days? “Support our troops”? “We gotta invest in our children”? “Help out Main Street, not Wall Bay Street”? “Job creation is our priority”?
Nope! The trendy position for hot politicians who want to be seen is “I fucking love seals getting their heads smacked [...]

Former Conservative MP and husband of Helena “Happy Fucking Birthday” Guergis is reportedly recovering in the hospital, nursing lacerations to his lower hand after receiving a VICIOUS slap on the wrist from Ontario courts!
Jaffer, you’ll remember, was busted last year for plowing through a village with a 50 KM/h speed limits doing 93 clicks, being [...]

I was going to write a SERIOUS BUDGET RESPONSE, like everyone else’s doing, but that just wouldn’t suit our… style. Instead, here’s this.
On Monday, two older men – their hair graying, their eyes full of doe-eyed innocence – stepped back in front of the cameras with their finest suits freshly dry-cleaned, ready to return to [...]

-Matt

WELCOME BACK, POLITICS! We missed you! Our Olympic break was fun, though, we got to post all sorts of silly things as the OFFICIAL CANADIAN™ POLITICS BLOG OF THE VANCOUVER™ 2010™ OLYMPICS™, writing about sexy curlers and acid flashbacks and Nickelback, but now we have to put our Serious Hat back on to make Serious [...]

Before I begin my discussion of what on Earth just happened in Vancouver that 3 billion innocent people were allegedly exposed to, I’d first like to explain the term “troll”. In an online context, a troll is someone who gains pleasure from the displeasure of others. They often put painstaking hours towards creating long, elaborate [...]

Sometimes our job’s too easy!
Background: Helena Guergis (pronounced Jore-Jis, in case you want to re-tell this story to your water-cooler buddies but don’t want to look silly saying Gur-Giss) is a former beauty pageant contestant with a community college certificate in Real Estate. She fell into the job of Conservative MP by running in a [...]

Ahaha. What the hell did I just watch?
HIGHLIGHTS:
> Wolverine from Hell tearing a fiddle apart: In what I guess was a tribute to the East Coast, a horrifying mixture of Newfies, the cast of Stomp, Seattle fashion circa 1993, and Irish goths on acid fused to stomp their feet, fiddle up a storm under the [...]