Your MapleRag – Canada’s only news source, by decree of the Queen – got EXCLUSIVE journalistic access to the final CP24 Toronto mayoral debate, because we’re very important and journalistic. We even got to sit in the front row, taking forbidden Blackberry pictures. Not only that, we had better seats than CityTV anchordouche Gord Martineau! [...]
Filed under: Current Events, MapleRag Local Beat | Comments (7) Article tags: cp24, debate, election, fat, george smitherman, gord martineau, joe pantalone, rob ford, toronto
MapleRag – Canada’s only news source, since 1867 – have officially endorsed a candidate in an electoral contest for the first time in our history.
If you live in the city of Toronto, we urge you – beg you, even – to vote for Rob Ford for mayor in the upcoming municipal elections.
If you’re not from [...]
Filed under: MapleRag Local Beat | Comment (1) Article tags: endorsements, fat, mayor, rob ford, toronto
Angry grease-hog Rob Ford is a shrill, pink man-baby, a horrible clown-monster coated in oil and booze and the purified and distilled human emotion of hatred, and could very well by the next mayor of Toronto, in the ultimate theological test or whether a truly loving God cannot exist.
The frontrunner in the race, whose entire [...]
Filed under: Fun and games, MapleRag Local Beat | Comments (5) Article tags: elections, mayor, mulleted pig-fuckers, rob ford, toronto, toronto sun
Woohoo, it’s the G20! Bring your friends, let’s “cause shit” and “party”! Hey man, a bunch of drab economic wonks are convening to have low-key discussions about the intricacies of interest rates, inflation and ensuring macroeconomic stability – you know what that means, LET’S SET SOME GODDAMN POLICE CARS ON FIRE!
Here are my compiled comments, [...]
Filed under: Current Events, Kill Your Television, MapleRag Local Beat | Comments (7) Article tags: bill blair, black bloc, cbc, citytv, ctv, g20, g8, police, protests, queen street, riot, starbucks, toronto
Have you heard? There’s a small summit coming up around June 26-27 called the G20, in which the 20 coolest world finance leaders (suck it, #21!) get to convene in the small town of Toronto to complain about other countries, get in a dick-size contest about the strength of their financial systems, and enjoy free snacks. Generally the resources [...]
Filed under: Current Events, MapleRag Local Beat | Comments (4) Article tags: abortion, blue jays, fake lake, g20, g8, huntsville, mammoth erections, muskoka, riots, summit, tony clement, toronto
It’s Round 2 of Mayoral Kombat, where we take a look at the also-rans!
(I’m slowly alienating all of my readers – HI MOM! – too old to know what the fuck a “Mortal Kombat” is.)
Ready? FIGHT!
ROCCO ROSSI
Support based on most recent TorStar poll: 13%
Coles Notes summary: Big-time Liberal insider, and a member of Iggy’s Rosedale [...]
Filed under: Current Events, MapleRag Local Beat | Comments (11) Article tags: elections, giamboner, giorgio mammoliti, mayor, mayoral kombat, rocco rossi, sarah thomson, toronto, zanta
Quick geography lesson: in southern Ontario, just west of Pickering but east of Mississauga on Highway 401, lies a sleepy little village on the shores of Lake Ontario called Toronto (pron. “Trawnna”.) For some reason, Canadians hold a bizarre infatuation with this humble little hamlet, which means that whenever it comes time for the dozen-odd [...]
Filed under: MapleRag Local Beat, Special Investigations | Comments (11) Article tags: dan for mayor, elections, george smitherman, joe pantalone, mayor, mayoral kombat, rob ford, toronto