Well, we already did this stupid, horrible thing for the Scotties, it would be unpatriotic if we didn’t do it for Canada’s Greatest Olympics(tm), right? [Editor's note: "He did", not "we did", as always I have nothing to do with this - Your Female Editor]
As always, attractiveness will be judged using the terminology of skip’s [...]

Curling is a drinking-based sport played by chubby old men in sleepy prairie hamlets consisting of sweeping a broom against an ice surface while everyone screams dirty-sounding verbs at each other. It’s simultaneously the best and most stupid pastime that we as Canadians have. Every year, the best female curlers in the country (and by [...]