Gettin' Iggy with it

As I type this, Your Honourable Leader of the Opposition His Iggyness is engaged in an online live chat! Not with the media, or a newspaper… with a Facebook group! Oh God, the political parties are becoming aware of “The Internet”! Soon it’s gonna be all, Facebook Michael Ignatieff’s Twitters On Youtube To Blog A Flickr Vlog About Social Media Network 2.0! This is all your fault, Twenty-Somethings Of Canada, for teaching your parents how to use the internet.

This whole “Canadians Against Proroguing Parliament” Facebook group has swelled to ridiculous proportions, numbering 200,000+ people (well… people, Facebook accounts of peoples’ cats, and spambots combined) at last count! The whole movement’s been grassroots – volunteer organizers, grassroots protests, unshaven bloggers ranting about the new world order – and like any rapidly-growing grassroots movement, it presents a perfect chance for a major political party to jump onboard and claim ownership! (For more, see: “Teabaggers, Republican asskissing of“) In this case, Iggy wrote a whole letter the other day to everyone in this group, showering them with praise for the noble dedication it took to… click “Accept” on the Group request they got from their crazy uncle. (Damn, can’t you remember the foregone days when Facebook was a quiet, low-tech network for University students to keep in touch? But I digress.)

Today, from 3 to 4 PM (the live chat’s ending as I type now, OH NO!) Iggy fielded all kinds of softballs from group members in an online chat! Actually, softballs is putting it a bit too harshly, this is more like Iggy was playing T-ball, the balls were already lined up for him on the tee, and there was no one in the outfield to try and make a catch.

They posted two photos of Iggy sitting at his impressively massive monitor just to prove that it was him, and not one of the thousands of clever Michael Ignatieff Impersonators roaming the streets of Ottawa.

Top: Iggy looking like a bored dweeb. Bottom: They needed 7 staff members, advisors and moderators, plus a photographer in the room, just to organize a FREAKIN' ONE-HOUR ONLINE CHAT? Your Liberal Party, ladies and gents.

Damnit, I should’ve asked Iggy if that chick who looks kinda cute from behind was single.

RECAP!

An early question from one “Brent Nellis”:

Mister Ignatieff, I will be finishing a degree in sociology next year and I am currently interested in pursuing graduate studies or working for Statistics Canada. However, the open disdain that the Conservatives have shown for science and research in the past is making me nervous about meaningful career opportunities in Canada.

Hey, maybe your SOCIOLOGY DEGREE should be making you nervous about meaningful career opportunities. HAH. Sociology, folks! Yeah, lemme just check if they’re hiring down at the Sociology Factory. (Iggy’s answer, predictably, was “We gotta invest in science, fuck Harper, he hates science”)

In response to a question about how to cope with rising tuition costs for post-secondary education:

Michael Ignatieff: You get the grades, you get to go. That needs to be our motto for higher education in Canada.

Wait, uh… bwuuhhh? So, if you have the minimum grades in high school, you get free tuition? Or… you’re doing away with programs that traditionally assist students who may not have the grades but who are accepted based on other scholarships/programs? And how does this address tuition costs rising? See, here’s a classic example of an answer that sounds catchy (Ya get the GRADES, ya get to GO! Bumperstick it, pal!) but that just bewilders anyone who tries to use it as a real answer to the question “What’re you gonna do about tuition costs”.

In response to your typical “Why don’t you like, totally just like, leeeegalize it, maaaan” questions that always comes up in these forums:

Michael Ignatieff: Liberals dont want to ruin young lives with penalties for possession, but equally we want tough penalties to remain for pushers.

Jeez, what’s not to understand? Marijuana is completely harmless, except for people you provide it, who are sub-human scum. How does this not make sense to you people? It’s all in the Liberals’ new action plan, The Green Book.

Oh hey, here’s an actual question! Someone asked about Layton pushing for anti-prorogation legislation, and hey, what’s the deal with that, Iggy?

Michael Ignatieff: Provided a Prime Minister respects Parliament and its authority, legislation isnt needed. Mr. Harper used prorogation to duck a confidence vote and to evade tough questions in the House. That;s wrong. Ive already pledged not to use prorogation that way. The problem is not the power itself, so much as its abuse. Mr. Harper has abused his power.

First of all, is there something wrong with the punctuation buttons on Iggy’s keyboard? He’s not using any apostrophes in any of the comments he wrote. He either skips them or subs in a semicolon or, more oddly, a colon. In the Leader of the Opposition’s defense, apostrophes are tricky since they’re marked as quotation marks on the keyboard, but you’d think one of the 23 staffers in the room could help him out. ANYWAYS. I think Iggy’s doing a good job of carving himself a nice middle ground here. He’s not chomping at the bit like the NDP’s trying to legislate against the concept of non-legislation, but he’s still saying a quiet “Fuck Harper”. Smooth, not ruffling any feathers. Just watchin’ those Liberal approval points keep ticking up by playing it quiet.

After they posted the first picture (seen above) in the chat, here’s the dialogue that ensued:

Michael Ignatieff: God I look terrible. Who took this picture?

[Comment From Corina Ganton]

Looking good Michael.  :)

[Comment From Maisoon Hanany]

you look fine

[Comment From Will Mooney]

Would you advocate a return to 7% on the GST in order to help trim the deficit?

Michael Ignatieff: Stephen Harper put us in deficit before the recession hit.

Michael Ignatieff: The Harper government has already announced they are raising taxes with a hefty hike to payroll taxes beginning in 2011. We think this will be a job killer.

Michael Ignatieff: As a great writer once said, rules are for people with no character. Meaning, that you need to legislate when you cant trust the people who hold power. My view is that we dont need to legislate limits on prorogation. We just need to return to the basic understanding that used to limit prerogative power, namely that you dont use it to duck tough questions in parliament and you dont use it to duck a confidence vote. harper used it this way and it was wrong, and Canadians are telling him dont ever do that again.

THIS SCANDAL IS HEREBY KNOWN AS QUOTEGATE!!!

I also love how he ends with “Canadians are telling him dont [sic] ever do that again”, as if Canadians are pretty angry at Stevey for eating all those cookies before dinner and I’d better hope he doesn’t act up that way again, or that’s a spankin’ time, mister!

To wrap up:

[Comment from Grace Noel]

Thank you Mr. Ignatieff – can we do this again?

Michael Ignatieff: Grace, we sure can. This was fun. I hope you enjoyed it too

THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!

Aaaand I’m spent.

[Source: This link to the chat, if it still even works]