News In Brief(s)

Jenn — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 23:33:50 +0000

A round-up of the rumblings on the web which don’t deserve their own post…

> A purse by any other name: The Globe & Fail have continued their Pulitzer-worthy pursuit of Stockwell Day’s manpurse. In the third (!) such article about Doris’ murse, Jane Taber has bravely nailed down this story using Woodward & Bernstein-style investigative reporting. In the first mention, we learn that the Minister does indeed carry a murse, while in the breathless followup we learn just what he carries in his lady-bag: “a few legal documents, passport, wallet, small change purse, business cards and personalized note cards, mints, hand sanitizer, family photo and latest book I am reading.” (Omitted: lipstick, miniature chihuahua). Finally, in the penultimate story which will ultimately get Taber the Pulitzer, we get to see a picture of this stupid thing. JOURNALISM!

> Prem. Williams’ Open-Heart Club Band: You’ve all heard about Danny Williams getting his heart tuned up in the States, right? And you’ve already twisted this dude’s cardiac problems into a politicized storyline about the state of Canadian healthcare, right? Good! Then we’re done here.

> He’ll just PVR the curling, it’s better in fast forward: Obama’s not coming to our fancy little Olympics. We will get Diet Obama in the form of Joe Biden, who’ll ride the Amtrak here from Scranton and commit a bunch of Patented Biden Gaffes(tm), like pretending to be interested in luge. Hey, remember those photos that looked like George Bush was doing all this wacky drunk shit at the Olympics, being all sweaty and red-faced and holding up backwards flags and spanking volleyball players? Hah, what was WITH that guy.

> Girl Power unseen since Sporty Spice: Harper’s new thing, his legacy, his sole and devoted cause as a head of state, is now Plight Of Women Worldwide. What, you didn’t know that? Come on, how could you not think of Harper as synonymous with the issue of women in developing countries, a topic he’s tackled all of never times. Iggy to Harper: “If you love women’s health so much, why don’t you marry it provide support for safe abortions?” Harper spokesman to Iggy: “Huh? What? HEY LOOK OVER THERE.”

Maple Rag » murse