"Iqaluit like I see it"

So Canada’s hosting a G7 conference in February – that’s G7, “the finance guys and Russia’s not invited”, not G8, “the actual world leaders and Russia’s totally invited” – and guess where they chose to host it? I mean, it’s February in Canada, and you’re gonna want to be hospitable to the world’s financial leaders, so somewhere not too cold I assume, so…

Iqaluit!

That’s right, next month we’re making all of the world’s finance leaders come to Nunavut, “everyone’s least-gotten answer in the Sporcle quiz about Canadian provinces/territories” (I think that’s actually their license plate slogan!) THEY’RE ALL GONNA DIE!

Here’s some great reasons to hold a G7 conference in Iqaluit:

• #1: Much easier to get shit done when there’s no scenic beaches, historic landmarks, or really any incentive to be outdoors longer than the distance from your limo to the hotel lobby, since it’s -40 goddamn degrees (both Celsius and Fahrenheit – fun fact!)

• #2: Ohhh, let’s say a certain government wanted to showcase its North by doing a bunch of bullshit posturing? Y’know, Prime Ministers posing like superheroes on snowshoes in God-forsaken stretches of tundra, running submarines through the Northern Passage just to hang out, having your Governor General eating some fresh Seal Sashimi – hey, wouldn’t it be great to take some big, international event and put it in your country’s most far-flung, barely-inhabited iceberg, I bet THAT would shut Russia up about the whole Northern Sovereignty© thing!

• #3: Winnipeg was booked. Like, the whole city. The “Winnipeg Taboo Show” was in town. Sorry, G7.

Canadian finance minister Jim Flaherty (left) discusses economic issues with US Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke (Right) in Iqaluit, Canada. Photo: AP

Good reasons, all!

Anyways, the NattyPo makes a fine puff piece out of the whole affair. Having no contacts with any finance ministers or event planners, they resort to interviewing a meteorologist (“Shit’s pretty cold”, he confides) a local snowmobile dealer (“Wear long underwear”, he ominously declares) and the guy who owns the local hotel (he lists off the exact three things that there are to do in Iqaluit: snowmobiling, cross-country skiing and dog sledding, all of which are variations on the theme of “travelling aimlessly across empty snowiness as your boogers freeze”.)

Enjoy Iqaluit, Ben Bernanke! Try the seal heart!

[Source: NattyPo puff piece]