PART FIVE: I believe in the power of old white guys talking for a long time
And as John Ferguson takes to the mic, honestly, all I have to say: “WELL, YOU ASKED FOR MORE FUCKING FRENCH, YOU GOT IT!” It seems cruel to rip this guy more since everyone on the continent [...]

Before I begin my discussion of what on Earth just happened in Vancouver that 3 billion innocent people were allegedly exposed to, I’d first like to explain the term “troll”. In an online context, a troll is someone who gains pleasure from the displeasure of others. They often put painstaking hours towards creating long, elaborate [...]

Our roundup of stories not important enough to merit their own post:

> CROSBY CROSBY HOCKEY HOCKEY SWITZERLAND GOAL WIN SHOOTOUT CANADA CROSBY CROSBY 87 CROSBY. This is what most Canadians are currently discussing – most of them very drunk – so we’ll stick with that theme for every other bullet point.

> Both are also carbon-based, [...]

Well, we already did this stupid, horrible thing for the Scotties, it would be unpatriotic if we didn’t do it for Canada’s Greatest Olympics(tm), right? [Editor's note: "He did", not "we did", as always I have nothing to do with this - Your Female Editor]
As always, attractiveness will be judged using the terminology of skip’s [...]

Ahaha. What the hell did I just watch?
HIGHLIGHTS:
> Wolverine from Hell tearing a fiddle apart: In what I guess was a tribute to the East Coast, a horrifying mixture of Newfies, the cast of Stomp, Seattle fashion circa 1993, and Irish goths on acid fused to stomp their feet, fiddle up a storm under the [...]

A round-up of the rumblings on the web which don’t deserve their own post…

> A purse by any other name: The Globe & Fail have continued their Pulitzer-worthy pursuit of Stockwell Day’s manpurse. In the third (!) such article about Doris’ murse, Jane Taber has bravely nailed down this story using Woodward & Bernstein-style investigative [...]

Here we see Tony Clement, Conservative Member for the riding of Twitter, taking a stupid picture with his stupid camera-phone-blackberry-photo-gadget of Canada’s sweetheart, Barbara Ann Scott, as she looks ready to set parliament on fire in accordance with the wishes of most Canadians.
Tony, you look like a doofus. Instead of smiling and applauding like a [...]