One post in and we've already got some sacrilege!

One day, if this website becomes big and famous and sexy, and/or is involved in a massive criminal investigation, people will scroll all the way back to this very first post, and they’ll ask themselves, dear God, why? Why was this website made? How was it born?

The answer: the Maple Rag was born out of wedlock in October, 2009. Its mission was to shed light on the dry, forgotten world of Canadian politics. Fun fact: Canada has politics! There aren’t any lurid sex scandals or 24-hour news cycles or half-deranged e-mails from your great-aunt about it, so it’s easy for Canadian politics to get lost in the shadow of its curvaceous, seductive neighbour, American politics. Join us, as we go into a mystical journey learning about the Maple Rag, its purpose, and the unbreakable pillars on which this site will stand!

The purpose of this site will be to document Canadian politics, and assorted other half-drunk bullshit. The website will be sarcastic, satirical, comedic – all of those codewords that can be hidden behind to imply that when we make a post implying that a Member of Parliament actually drinks virgin blood to stay alive, he can’t sue for libel.

The name Maple Rag loosely comes from the ragtime piano song, the Maple Leaf Rag, with the “Maple” element for Canada, and the “Rag” element reminiscent of shoddy-quality mud-slinging newspapers. See? Double meaning. Right from the moment the URL was registered we were clever as hell.

THE PILLARS ON WHICH THE MAPLE RAG STANDS

The Maple Rag is satirical. Canadian politics are painfully dry. Seriously, have you ever watched CPAC? It’s a bunch of guys in grey suits with $12 Supercuts hairdos getting all blustery and shouty about all sorts of bureaucracy and numbers and acronyms that no one but the most insufferably dweeby party hack can possibly care about. There’s none of the showmanship of American politics, none of the character, none of the populist flair. The Maple Rag’s gonna be politics for the people. We’re gonna try to be funny, bless our hearts. We’re gonna be mean. Think the old Frank Magazine, divided by the American Gawker/Wonkette empire, with the integer carried over from a parallel-universe version of 22 Minutes which is actually funny. Our ultimate goal, one day, will be to uncover a Canadian political sex scandal. Dare to dream.

The Maple Rag is non-partisan. Sure, there are Canadian political blogs. I challenge you to find one of them that isn’t run by an unabashed, life-long party hack . Canadian politics exists in bubbles. The only people who care are the ones who show-up at their party of choice’s political rallies, clapping their thundersticks as some backbencher “rallies the base”, and then trying to get laid (trust me, the prospect of getting laid is the driving force in many political decisions.)

The Maple Rag has no idea what we’re talking about. One of the driving reasons behind the creation of this site was for us (main guy + other girl + friends, we’ll explain in a minute!) to learn about Canadian politics. Personally, I have no goddamn clue about anything related to politics. I can’t name your MP. I can’t name any bills. I don’t watch CPAC. But this site will be something of an experiment – we’re going to live like political nerds, and this website will document what we learn. If we find out some Senator is a huge jackoff, we’ll let you, the reader, know. You’re probably smarter than us. You can help us by sending us tips. We’ll probably post them, and maybe give you a prize if your tip is SAUCY!

The Maple Rag is allowed to swear. So are you. Since Canadian political blogging is basically controlled by a bunch of uptight moms living in Fart Elbow, Saskatchewan, there isn’t much salty language on the Canadian Politiblogwebnetz! But swearing is funny, so. Fuckdoodle.

Keep your stick on the ice,

-The Maple Rag