PART FIVE: I believe in the power of old white guys talking for a long time
And as John Ferguson takes to the mic, honestly, all I have to say: “WELL, YOU ASKED FOR MORE FUCKING FRENCH, YOU GOT IT!” It seems cruel to rip this guy more since everyone on the continent [...]

Before I begin my discussion of what on Earth just happened in Vancouver that 3 billion innocent people were allegedly exposed to, I’d first like to explain the term “troll”. In an online context, a troll is someone who gains pleasure from the displeasure of others. They often put painstaking hours towards creating long, elaborate [...]

Well, we already did this stupid, horrible thing for the Scotties, it would be unpatriotic if we didn’t do it for Canada’s Greatest Olympics(tm), right? [Editor's note: "He did", not "we did", as always I have nothing to do with this - Your Female Editor]
As always, attractiveness will be judged using the terminology of skip’s [...]

Curling is a drinking-based sport played by chubby old men in sleepy prairie hamlets consisting of sweeping a broom against an ice surface while everyone screams dirty-sounding verbs at each other. It’s simultaneously the best and most stupid pastime that we as Canadians have. Every year, the best female curlers in the country (and by [...]

In a move designed to “shake up” the stagnant world of the Canadian parliament, Toronto Maple Leafs General Manager Brian Burke announced a blockbuster trade deal today to send Parliament stars Tony Clement and Martha Hall Findlay to the United States Congress in exchange for prospects Congresswoman Stephanie Herseth Sandlin (D-ND), Congressman Jim Jordan (R-OH), [...]